How to Balance Mom Life with Your Career

How to Balance Mom Life with Your Career
How to Balance Mom Life with Your Career
How to Balance Mom Life with Your Career

Any mom who has tried to fill a plate of food while listening to her child recite the week’s spelling words or the latest French vocabulary for the next day’s quiz knows she needs to pull out her mom genius skills. Food and homework. What could be more important? But the swish of her phone indicates someone needs her genius work skills, and the texter either doesn’t know it’s dinner and homework time or they aren’t thinking about what she is juggling at that moment. The tension of trying to do more than one thing at a time is real for moms.

This happens more than once or twice a week for me, and sometimes I handle it better than others. You probably know this dilemma as well and perhaps have found what works for you but are open to new ideas. Can we pool our ideas and agree on the best solution?!

As a full-time business operator from my home, work is not just contained to my office. Sometimes it’s in our living room or a bedroom with a make-shift “studio” for video calls or recordings. If only people saw what was on the other side of the computer or the desk, right?

I believe we all face the temptation of “let’s do more so that we can have more.” Sometimes I think, Just one more email, and then maybe I can move that project forward, or I have five minutes before we leave, and I can get in a couple of texts before I take my daughter. But I’ve realized that those extra minutes on an email or text I could be spending with a family member are not worth the effort I think it will yield. That tiny seed time could be a deposit toward showing my family, “I’ve missed you today. How did your day go?” Instead, I’m often running right up until the time we need to walk out the door and not focusing on what matters most.

So what do I have to share with you when I “work on” my mom-work-life balance? I can tell you what hasn’t worked well and hopefully encourage you to avoid some of the things I’ve learned as my kids are now teens.

Here’s what I do know:

-Families work best when they know more than a couple of days ahead of time what you have added to the schedule that’s different from the norm. They need more than a few hours and more than “a day’s notice” of what’s happening. This has been my downfall. Lack of communication. Sigh.

-Work, when it’s contained to certain hours, is best contained mentally, not just physically, to that timeframe. When we carry over into dinner and the rest of the evening what happened that day, even if we don’t say anything, but it’s on our mind, we are not able to be present to our family in moments where they are speaking to us or expecting to get our reaction. I’ve missed moments like this and have “take back” moments I wish I could redo.

-The phrase “work to live” or “live to work” has come to mind as I work and help provide for my family. Since my kids outgrew naps and their awake hours increased, over the years, we shifted into their full-time school schedule, and you think you’ll have more hours to work. But we just fill those hours with other things. Running kids to appointments, helping them get what they need to be successful (therapy, basic necessities of life, school needs, etc.), and showing up when they have a sports or other event. After working for 17 years on my own, my motto now is, “What can I downsize on my plate?” Just like downsizing a home or closet (or both!), I want to reduce my schedule so I can be more effective in the hours I work and in the time I have with my family.

-Self-care is so essential that if you put it last, you will lose more time than if you had put it first. Recently, I took some time off going to the gym for my stretch and/or dance movement classes that keep me going. I thought I’d have more time to work, but it backfired. I ended up with back pain, and it cost me time going to therapy and needing to sleep more to help with restoring my body. The interesting thing is that my instructor said, “When your core is tight, your back is stronger.” I thought skipping this essential step wouldn’t make much difference. But if my core strengthening isn’t in place, physically and spiritually, then it will be a heavier load. Not just on my back but my family as well. We need to take care of ourselves, so we can be healthy and are able to show up at work and with our family.

-Know your ideal work time zone (yes, almost like the time zone you live in) and stick to your routine as much as possible. My family knows I’m really of no use past 9:00. Okay, 8:00. Let’s be real. It’s easier to “check out” and read a book or just have some time alone, but 8:30 is when my kids return home from their activities, so that’s an ideal time to be with them. Planning when you can connect with your family is just as important as the phone or video call you had with a client that day. It just doesn’t always go on the calendar. When your family sees that you have those few minutes for them at the end of the day, no matter what has happened, they see you spending the end of the day with them. And that matters – it reaps huge dividends.

Sometimes balance feels more like an endurance race, doesn’t it? Who ever thought that balance could equate to everything fitting together perfectly in its little squares, like a waffle with little compartments? Some of us feel like that waffle with syrup pouring over us like a river trying to find the best spot for each moment to land.

Moms are cruising down the river of career and mommy-ing one moment and paddling upstream with responsibilities the next. It can be quite a load.

There is a wise saying that I often go back and look at in the Bible. Maybe you quote it too: “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” (Matthew 6:19-21 NIV)

My treasures are right in front of me. I enjoy the ministry and opportunities I have through my professional life and can’t see myself doing any other career. But at the end of the day, that’s all it is – a career. I’ve told God several times, and I have to continually check my spirit in this, that if he asked me to give it all up, would I do it? Do I cling too tightly to work and not enough to him? And the most freeing thing for us to say is, “If all of this went away tomorrow, God would still provide.” And he would! And we would be okay. But he gives us the opportunity to learn how to create life in the work he’s given us and the role of mom. And we know when we’re faithful in the small things, he’ll be able to entrust us with more. That might look like work opportunities on a higher level that we aren’t sacrificing to attain or a larger family or more for our family that we didn’t expect.

Did my kids notice that we had tacos two times last week for dinner? Probably not. Do they notice that we have food on the table and that my work helped to provide it? Yes. It isn’t as much what you do to provide, but that you meet the needs of your family that they see. Are you present when they want and need you to be? Showing up for their games and events with school or sports means a lot to kids, maybe even more than a fancy trip or physical belongings that we think will add to our family life.

My daughters do skills on a balance beam four inches across and raised four feet off the ground. They have been trained to get up and do what they do. I watch them, and they are thinking about their skills and landing, not about how they might fall off. I think this is how we can approach life—focusing on our skills and what we do, not on how we might fail or not get it all done. The term “plant your feet” is often used for gymnasts on this apparatus. Let’s be moms who plant our feet where we see them needing to go. Not too many steps or way too far ahead. But right here, right next to where our families need us and our work colleagues can see we are not driving our feet forward beyond where they’re meant to go.

How are you inspired to keep your feet moving on the balance beam where you can be more concerned about where you’ll land? How will you keep cruising when your waffle is a syrupy mess of responsibilities spilling over? Let’s remember that each moment we are stuck worrying about something we did or didn’t do takes away from a moment we could be in that’s forward thinking. Ever wonder why the car’s rearview mirror is so much smaller than the big window in front that we see out of? The best part for you and me is that we get to start over each day. And aren’t we grateful for that?

Why Does Marriage Exist if it Doesn’t in Heaven?

Why Does Marriage Exist if it Doesn't in Heaven?
Why Does Marriage Exist if it Doesn't in Heaven?
Why Does Marriage Exist if it Doesn’t in Heaven?

Every couple who walks down the aisle wants to be together forever and that probably includes being together in eternity, too. But why do wedding vows say, “I take you for my lawfully wedded wife/husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. I will love and honor you all the days of my life”?

Does this mean marriage with our other half ends on earth and does not exist in heaven? Before we answer this, let us try to understand what marriage really means.

God Made Humans for Close Relationships

First of all, let us remind ourselves of God’s nature and character in order for us to understand marriage fully. God has always existed in a perfect, loving relationship between the three persons of the Trinity: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, since before creation.

It was not out of boredom or need for a hobby that He created the universe. It was an expression of His goodness and generosity. Consequently, as His image-bearers, humans are made for connecting, for loving, and for belonging.

God has endowed humanity with a relational nature, and the institution of marriage is the deepest expression of it. “Be fruitful and multiply, fill the earth, subdue it, and have dominion over it” are the blessings associated with the creation of mankind as male and female in Genesis 1:27–28.

Essentially, the first way marriage contributes to the service of God is by conceiving and then nurturing children in a godly way.

It is a blessing to have children. Unfortunately, not every married couple is blessed with children. That is a sad fact. Having no children does not mean that a marriage is not a marriage, and God can still be deeply honored through it.

Procreation, however, should be regarded as a costly, sacrificial blessing (Ephesians 6:4), so that they may become fellow gardeners under God to care for his creation.

In all cultures, the universality of marriage has been demonstrated throughout history. As a matter of fact, we live in a fallen world that is different from God’s perfect design that has always existed, including in our time.

Although this is true, most societies recognize the central importance of lifelong marriage between one man and one woman. Our arts and entertainment reflect this to a large extent. Many stories, songs, poems, novels, plays, and films have been centered on love.

Their triumphs are celebrated, their tragedies are mourned, and most of the time they succeed. Shakespeare’s tragedies always end with death, while his comedies always end with marriage.

The central themes of our stories are love and death because they are central to our lives. Whether consciously or unconsciously, all of these stories describe God’s grand narrative of creation, fall, redemption, and restoration.

Therefore, the capacity for love between two people cannot simply be regarded as horizontal. Ultimately, it aims to establish a vertical relationship between an individual and God. Our Creator intended for us to have a loving relationship with him or her.

Marriage Symbolizes Christ’s Relationship with His People

Symbolic of Christ’s relationship with His Church, God created marriage as the most intimate of human unions. In marriage, the union between man and woman conceals a truth about God and the Church.

Marriage symbolizes the permanent union God ordained between His Son and the church. This divine plan is symbolized by marriage on earth. In the same way that God intended for Christ and the church to become one body (Galatians 3:281 Corinthians 12:13), He intended that husband and wife become one flesh (Genesis 2:24).

It applies to all marriages, whether they are Christian or not, regardless of whether the parties recognize them as such. The marriage that God instituted at creation represents the final, eternal relationship that He will have with His redeemed people in the New Heaven and New Earth.

Yes, there is marriage in heaven — one grand, final consummation between the Lamb and His Bride, as described in the Book of Revelation (Revelation 19:6–9).

Yet, Christian traditions cite Matthew 22:30, in which Jesus says, “At the resurrection people will not marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.” This is also true because what Revelation tries to emphasize is marriage in heaven is with Christ and not pertaining to worldly marriage.

There Is a Big Difference Between Heaven and the World

According to John’s vision, there is no temple in the eternal city since God and Christ the Lamb are its temple, being intimately present with their people. Likewise, the Father and the Son will serve as the city’s sources of illumination, eliminating the need for the sun, moon, or light itself.

Similar to how a lamp is useless under the light of the sun, so will God’s light be brighter than the light of the sun.

When Jesus died on the cross, He desired that the church be holy and without blemish. As a husband desires the best for his wife, Jesus wanted the best for us as well. This is the picture of marriage in heaven, we are literally married to Christ because we are His bride.

Worldly marriages are fleeting, and when we die, they are inevitably severed. Our perfect, everlasting union with God our Father and our Lord Jesus Christ will take their place as something far more intimate and beautiful.

Therefore, why is it sometimes difficult for us to accept this truth? Could it be a fear of losing physical intimacy or intimacy with others?

Our only way to know what God has given us in this life is first-hand. In faith, we look forward to what He has promised, but we can’t begin to imagine what it will look like in reality.

The institution of marriage was first instituted by God in the order of creation. Marriage is the unchangeable foundation of human life. The purpose of marriage is to enable humans to serve God through faithful intimacy and children.

Christ and the church are likened to the marriage of God and his bride, his bride, the church. A husband should act as a self-sacrificing leader in marriage, and a wife should submit to her husband in a godly manner.

As a visual representation of the gospel, the institution of marriage points to our hope in Christ returning to claim his bride.

With the One Who Matters for Eternity

What God has in store for us on this side of heaven is only a glimpse. No one can imagine what it will be like to no longer be married or given in marriage, or how that could be any better than our current relationships.

But when we are in heaven, we will not be able to think of that anymore because when we are there, we have the assurance that we will have an eternal and intimate union with our Lord, which is far more valuable than our current state, like the sun’s light is to a lightbulb.

This is very comforting to know that we have joy forever and ever and no death can conquer that everlasting union with Christ. Now we can only hope and wait.

9 Fruits of the Holy Spirit

9 Fruits of the Holy Spirit
9 Fruits of the Holy Spirit

In addition to the 9 gifts of the Holy Spirit, the Bible also tells us that there are 9 fruits of the Holy Spirit.

As you will see in the Scripture verse I will give you in this article – there is one very special incredible verse that will tell you that God the Father wants to transmit and impart 9 specific fruits of the Holy Spirit up into our personalities.

God wants all of us to enter into a true sanctification process with Him so that He can begin the process of molding, shaping, and transforming us into the express image of His Son Jesus Christ. He wants to make us into a better and more holy people. He wants to transform us by the renewing of our minds. He wants to put right thinking into our thought process.

In the “Sanctification,” I gave you the specific verses from Scripture that showed you that it is by the power of the Holy Spirit that this sanctification process is done with you in this life. However, you will not be a passive robot in all of this. You have to be willing to work in cooperation with the Holy Spirit once He begins to start this sanctification process within you.

Your job will be to get into the Word to find out exactly what it is God is going to want to change about you. You will need to find out exactly what godly qualities God will want you to try and “put on” into your personality, and what qualities He will want you to try and “put away.”

This article will be the first of a series of articles giving you all of the appropriate Scripture verses showing you exactly which qualities and attributes God will want to get worked into your personality, and which qualities He will want to pull out of you. And there is no better place to start this series of articles than with the 9 fruits of the Holy Spirit.

If you want to start off by keying on some of the more positive, godly qualities that God would really like to get worked into your personality – really study and meditate on these 9 specific qualities.

When God the Father purposely isolates and spells out 9 specific qualities that will be coming direct from His Holy Spirit – then He is really letting you know the extreme importance of these 9 specific fruits.

These 9 fruits are major fruits and qualities that are coming direct from God Himself – and every Christian should do the best they can to work with the Holy Spirit in getting all 9 of these fruits worked into their personality.

I will first start off by highlighting each of these 9 specific fruits so that you can have all 9 of them isolated right at the top of this article. I will then give you the Scripture verse where these 9 fruits are coming from, and then do a brief commentary on each one of these fruits so you can fully understand what each one of these fruits are all about, and how they can dramatically change the quality of your life and state of well-being if you are willing to allow the Holy Spirit to start to work all nine of these fruits into your personality.

Here are the 9 fruits of the Holy Spirit listed one right after the other in a numbered format:

  1. Love
  2. Joy
  3. Peace
  4. Longsuffering
  5. Kindness
  6. Goodness
  7. Faithfulness
  8. Gentleness
  9. Self-control

Now here is the specific verse from Scripture where these 9 fruits are being given to us by the Lord:

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” (Galatians 5:22)

Before I get into the appropriate commentary on each of these nine fruits, note the following:

  1. The word “Spirit” is with a capital “S” – which means these 9 fruits are coming directly from the Holy Spirit, not from ourselves.
  2. What this means is that God’s love, God’s peace, God’s joy, and God’s goodness can start to be transmitted up into our personality. These are His divine attributes and personality qualities that will start to move into the core of our personality.
  3. Think about the ramifications of this – that God the Father Himself is allowing us to share in a part of His divine nature by allowing His Holy Spirit to transmit and impart these nine divine qualities right up into our soul and personality!

This is why God the Father is specifically telling us in this verse that these 9 fruits are coming directly from His Holy Spirit – so that we can all fully appreciate the magnitude of such an experience.

Jesus has already told us that He is the vine and we are the branches. The branches draw their life from the vine, not vice versa. Just as the branch draws its life from the vine, so too must we draw our life directly from Jesus. Jesus will release His divine life directly into us through the Holy Spirit in the exact same way that the vine will release the life of the tree into the branches.

In one short, but incredible powerful Scripture verse, God the Father is giving all of us an incredible revelation on what can go on behind the scenes in the spiritual realm for those who are willing to work with Him in this sanctification process.

Now I will go on to describe what each one of these nine fruits are all about and give you definitions from some of the different Bible Dictionaries and Commentaries, thereby making it easier for you to work with the Holy Spirit once He starts to move in on you to try and impart some of these divine qualities and attributes into the core of your personality.

Love – Fruit of the Spirit Bible Verse

If I had to rank all of the above fruit of the Spirit in their order of possible importance, the quality of love would have to be #1. And this is why it may have been listed as the first fruit in the above Scripture verse.

Due to the extreme importance of just this one quality, I am going to do another article on this quality and title it “The Power of Love.”

This article will also be listed in the Sanctification Section of our site.

There are some very powerful and profound verses from the Bible on just this one quality alone, and it needs to have its own article to do it proper justice.

Here are some of the different definitions on what love is from the different Bible Dictionaries and Commentaries:

  • Unselfish, benevolent concern for another; brotherly concern; the object of brotherly concern or affection
  • The self-denying, self-sacrificing, Christ-like love which is the foundation of all other graces
  • Unselfish, loyal and benevolent concern for the well being of another
  • The high esteem which God has for His human children and the high regard which they, in turn, should have for Him and other people
  • To love, to have affection for someone; to like; to be a friend; the love of brothers for each other

One of the main messages that comes through loud and clear from studying our Bible is the extreme importance that God the Father is placing on that everyone learn how to love Him, love ourselves, love one another, and to even go as far as to be able to love our enemies and those who will try and hurt us.

However, our abilities as fallen humans to love one another is very limited.

This is why it is so important for each and every Christian to work very closely with the Holy Spirit to get this fruit worked up into the core of our personalities.

It is only when the love of the Holy Spirit starts to flow and enter into our personalities can we even begin to love God, love ourselves, and love one another to the degree and to the intensity that God would really like to see from each one of us.

To those of you who will be entering into this sanctification process with the Lord – this quality should be listed as the #1 quality you should really attempt to put on into the core of your soul and personality.

The Holy Spirit will be moving on you very early and very quickly to get this quality imparted into your mind, soul, and emotions due to the extreme importance of it in your walk with the Lord.

You can be the greatest man of God and have some of the greatest gifts of God flowing through you – but if you are not walking with all of this in the spirit of love and humility, it will have all been for naught.

Joy – Fruit of the Spirit Bible Verse

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.” (Galatians 5:22)

In the rough and tough world we live in with all of the crime, disorder, and bad things that can happen to anyone of us at anytime, many Christians have lost a lot of their joy in the Lord as a result of some of the beatings they have taken in this life.

I remember I had a bank teller tell me one time that she very seldom sees people smiling anymore when they come into the bank.

She says no one seems to be happy anymore and everyone seems to be carrying around the weight of the world on their shoulders.

Again, with the imperfections of our own fallen nature, and then you combine that with how people react differently to adversity – some Christians have literally had most, if not all of their joy in the Lord, knocked right out of them.

This is why the above verse from Galatians is so powerful and so needed by every single Christian today.

In this verse, God is telling us that He can transmit some of His godly and divine qualities right up into the middle of us like filling up a new car with its first tank of gasoline.

Many of God’s people need a fresh infusion of His divine qualities due to the leaks that have occurred as a result of some of the beatings His people have taken during the course of their lives.

And the quality of joy is a much needed quality in this day and age. No matter how bad of a beating you may have taken in this life – God can still fully heal, deliver, and restore you if you are willing to work with Him in this healing process.

And one of the things that God can fully restore in you is your joy in Him. And not only can the Lord fully restore what joy you used to have in Him, but He can also increase it to a much greater degree and intensity due to the wording in the above verse – with the quality of joy being one of the 9 specific fruits of His Holy Spirit!

Here are some of the different definitions of what real joy is all about:

  1. Great delight; gladness of heart
  2. The happy state that results from knowing and serving God
  3. That deep, abiding, inner rejoicing in the Lord
  4. To rejoice, to be glad
  5. Happy, joyful, cheerful, rejoicing, festive

Realize that God can transmit this divine quality right up into your personality – and this will be His joy, not your joy, once it starts to flow up into you.

And once God starts to release His joy into your system, you won’t be able to help but feel it. And once you are able to start feeling it again, it will become much easier for you to learn how to walk back in it in your own daily walk with the Lord.

The Bible says that the joy of the Lord is your strength. This is why it is so important that every Christian have some level of God’s joy operating through them in this life.

Without God’s joy operating in your life, things can begin to dry up. Nothing is ever fun anymore. Everything can start to become a chore. Before you know it, you will want to start to withdraw from others and life in general.

The joy of the Lord can really give you an incredible surge of strength in your own daily walk with God – especially when you have to take on some really tough situations.

This is why each Christian should work very closely with the Holy Spirit in not only getting Him to release His joy into their system, but to also keep it running through them on a very regular and consistent basis.

The Holy Spirit will do this for you if you are open to receiving this divine infusion from Him and are willing to work with Him to keep it properly flowing through you on a regular basis.

Peace From The Fruit Of The Spirit Bible Verse

This is another major quality that we all need operating in our lives, especially with all of the uncertainty of this life and never knowing what is going to happen next.

Jobs are no longer as secure as they used to be. You never know when the company you work for may be bought out and your job will be gone in a flash.

Half of all marriages are still ending up in divorce. We are all forced to constantly live under the threat of future terrorist activity, never knowing when or where the next attack will come from.

With all of this kind of heightened activity that we are all forced to deal with on a daily basis, it becomes very easy to lose your sense of peace, especially your peace in the Lord.

Again, this is one of the 9 fruits of the Holy Spirit, and the Holy Spirit can really help you pick up the slack if you start losing your own sense of peace over some of the storm clouds that could come against you in this life.

Realize that the Holy Spirit has His peace to give to you and that He can give it to you in great abundance.

I have found that once His peace starts to flow up into your mind, soul, and emotions, it really is as the Bible says – a peace that surpasses all human understanding – especially when that peace comes in right in the middle of a severe storm cloud that you may be going through.

Here is how the quality of peace is described in some of the different Bible Dictionaries and Commentaries:

  1. The presence and experience of right relationships
  2. The tranquility of soul
  3. Sense of well-being and fulfillment that comes from God and is dependent on His presence
  4. The inner tranquility and poise of the Christian whose trust is in God through Christ
  5. Tranquility, rest, harmony, the absence of agitation or discord

The quality of peace should be one of the main qualities that you should try and get worked up into your soul through the Holy Spirit in the sanctification process. Without the peace of God operating in your life, you could become very easily rattled, shaken, tormented, and knocked right off your game in the Lord the first time any kind of adversity should ever come your way.

Longsuffering – Fruit of the Spirit Bible Verse

One of the main definitions of the word longsuffering is that it is referring to patience. And patience is another sorely needed quality in the fast paced world in which we live in today.

Just watch people standing in line at the grocery store or at your local fast food restaurant and watch how short some people’s fuses are today.

Road rage is still a major problem on some of our highways. Look at someone the wrong way and they will want to try and take your head off.

Many people have been killed or seriously injured because someone lost his temper over something that was very trivial.

With the fast-paced ways of our society, many people have had their fuses shortened up and it thus takes very little to set them off. As a result, many people have very little patience operating in their personalities today.

For Christians, this poses a major dilemma. One of the ways of our God is that He is a very patient and longsuffering God. His ways are not our ways.

And one of the things you will find out very early on about His ways is that He works on a much slower time frame than we do. And unless you learn to adjust to His slower way of working things out, you will find yourself easily losing your patience with Him and how He wants to work things out in your life.

God operates on a much longer and slower time frame than we are used to operating in the fast paced world in which we live in.

You will really have to work with the Holy Spirit on this particular quality to get it properly worked up into your personality.

The reason for this is that your own impatience will start to act up and try to override the patience and longsuffering that the Holy Spirit will try and transmit to you. At times, it may become of battle of wills – your will against His will.

But once the Holy Spirit starts to try and manifest this quality up into your personality, then you have to try and move with it and allow it to get worked into your mind and emotions. If you do, then His patience will start to override your impatience, and before you know it, your fuses will start to lengthen and you will not lose your patience like you used to do.

Here are the different definitions for the word longsuffering:

  1. Forbearance, patience
  2. Patient endurance and steadfastness under provocation
  3. Forbearance under ill-will, with no thought of retaliation
  4. Patience, endurance, steadfastness and forbearance
  5. Forbearance under suffering and endurance in the face of adversity
  6. Ability to endure persecution and ill-treatment

With the way all of these definitions are reading, you can really see why we all need the patience and longsuffering of the Holy Spirit to start operating in our souls and personalities – especially when we are forced to face any kind of adversity. Sometimes it will be the patience and longsuffering of the Holy Spirit that will be the only thing that will give you the ability to last the entire length of a bad trial.

Learn how to ride and flow with the patience of the Holy Spirit in your daily life and walk with the Lord – and you will then be able to enter into a much more restful, peaceful state within your mind and emotions.

Kindness- Fruit of the Spirit

As a result of more people being impatient, having short fuses, and with everyone always being in a hurry – many people have lost the ability to treat others with kindness and respect.

A kind word, a kind action to another person can really do wonders for them.

When you really study the life of Jesus in the New Testament, you can really tell how kind He always was with other people in His dealings with them.

Jesus is without question, the ultimate role model for all of us of someone who was fully walking and operating in all 9 fruits of the Holy Spirit.

The quality of kindness will go hand in hand with the quality of love. Once the Holy Spirit starts to transmit His love up into you, the quality of kindness will follow right along with it. It will then become much easier for you to be able to be kind to others once the love of God starts to flow more into your personality.

You cannot help but be more kind to others if God’s love is flowing through you. This is why the quality of love has to be the main quality that you really concentrate on getting more of from the Holy Spirit. Once the love of God starts to flow and operate through you to touch others, many of the other fruits of the Holy Spirit will then start to follow right after it in domino fashion.

Here are some of the different definitions of what real kindness is all about:

  1. Quality or state of being kind
  2. The steadfast love that maintains relationships through gracious aid in times of need
  3. Goodness of heart, serviceable, good, gracious, pleasant
  4. Love for mankind, hospitality, acts of kindness, readiness to help, human friendship, benevolence, taking thought of others
  5. Goodness in action, sweetness of disposition, gentleness in dealing with others, affability
  6. The ability to act for the welfare of those taxing your patience

As you can see from some of these different definitions, this is a very beautiful quality to have transmitted up into your soul and personality by the Holy Spirit. Not only will you be able to touch others with this godly quality, but you will also be able to touch yourself – because you will feel so much better about yourself if you can learn how to treat others with much more kindness and respect in your daily dealings and affairs with them.

Goodness – Fruit of the Spirit Bible Verse

The Bible says that it is the goodness of God that will lead sinners to repentance and salvation.

The quality of goodness is another real powerful quality to have operating through you.

This particular quality has a real drawing power to it. Not only does the goodness of God draw people direct to Him, but this fruit of goodness operating in a believer can also draw people direct to God through the actual believer.

Spirit-filled saints who are walking with many of these fruits operating through them are like a magnet.

Many people who have been saved through an individual believer say that what drew them in was the love and goodness they saw shining through that believer.

Jesus says that we are to carry His light and let that light shine before men and not attempt to hide it.

Part of His light are these 9 fruits of the Holy Spirit shining through an anointed believer. Nonbelievers are really drawn to someone who has some degree of these nine fruits manifesting through their personalities.

However, there is something extra special about the quality of goodness. Many Christians can effectively witness to others by just living right and being a good example and role model for others to follow.

Many nonbelievers carefully watch and study some Christians because they know there is something really different about them.

One of the key qualities a nonbeliever will pick up on in a solid Christian is this quality of goodness. This quality has an ability to really get down deep into the core of a believer’s personality.

To those who really have this quality, you can tell that it is something operating deep down inside of them.

This quality is not something that waivers like some of the other qualities can do. These people are good down to their very cores of their personalities. You can see it and feel it when you get around these types of people.

As a result of seeing this God-like goodness deeply ingrained into their personalities, there is an immediate drawing towards them. You feel totally safe being around them because you know you can totally trust them, and you know they would never deliberately hurt you.

Children are quick to sense and pick up on this quality in people who really have it. These types of Christians draw children and adults to them like magnets.

This is why this particular fruit and quality is so important for each Christian to have. Because with it, you can easily draw many more people to the Lord.

If the goodness of God will lead people to repentance and salvation with Him – then the goodness of God operating through an anointed believer will have the ability to draw nonbelievers into salvation.

And the goodness of God can be transmitted and worked up into your personality through the power of the Holy Spirit.

You can have the actual goodness of God shining through you to reach others if you are willing to work with the Holy Spirit in this sanctification process.

Now here are some of the different definitions of what this quality is all about:

  1. Beneficence, ready to do good, love in action
  2. Kindness in actual manifestation, virtue equipped for action, a bountiful propensity both to will and to do what is good, intrinsic goodness producing a generosity and a Godlike state or being
  3. The word beneficence means the fact or quality of being kind or doing good

This particular quality is a very powerful fruit to have operating in your personality because of the drawing power it has in it.

And the beautiful part about this fruit is that this quality is so pure in its goodness – it does not have any manipulative qualities within it.

In other words, a truly good person could not even begin to try and use you or manipulate you for their own personal gain because they are too good and righteous to even begin to think along those lines.

This is why these kinds of people are so trustworthy and why so many people are drawn to them – because you feel so safe by just being around them.

Faithfulness – Fruit of the Spirit Bible Verse

In the times we live in with half of all marriages still ending up in divorce, and with many people getting back-stabbed in the workplaces with people they thought they could initially trust – this particular quality is one that is really needed in our day and age.

This quality is not only needed in our own personal relationship with God, but it is also needed in our own personal relationships with our friends and our families.

Once you are saved and have entered into a true personal relationship with the Lord – one of the first things you will really have to grab a hold of is holding fast to the Lord and staying faithful to Him for the rest of your eternal life.

Once you are saved and have entered into a true personal relationship with the Lord, there is no turning back – ever!

This is what got the Jewish people in major trouble with God the Father back in the Old Testament. They could not stay faithful and loyal to Him on a consistent and regular basis.

There were times that God the Father was literally calling them harlots and adulterers because they would not stay faithful to Him, especially when they kept chasing after other gods.

God the Father really holds this particular quality in high esteem, and this is one quality that He will really expect you to operate very strongly in – not only in your own personal relationship with Him, but also in your other personal relationships with your family and friends.

In other words, He wants you to be faithful and loyal to your spouses, to your children, to your parents, and to your good friends.

Too many people are bailing out from their spouses and their children if they hit a few minor speed bumps in their marriages.

Too many spouses are having affairs behind their spouse’s back, thereby destroying all of the trust and faithfulness that may have been built up in the early years of their marriages.

Too many fathers are bailing out of their marriages, and then forgetting and forsaking their own children – and sometimes for good, never wanting to see any of them ever again!

If God brings you a wonderful mate, wonderful children, and good and wonderful friends – then He will expect you to stay loyal and faithful to all of them in your own personal relationships with them. A true friend will stay by your side for life – through thick and thin and for better or for worse.

Just as God will stay faithful to you in His own personal relationship with you – He will expect you to stay loyal and faithful in your own personal relationships with the other people in your life.

Now here are what some of the different Bible Dictionaries and Commentaries have to say about this particular quality:

  1. Fidelity which makes one true to his promise and faithful to his task
  2. Steadfast, dedicated, dependable and worthy of trust
  3. Steadfast, unchanging and thoroughly grounded in relation to the other
  4. Dependability, loyalty and stability

With the self-centered and materialistic world in which we now live in, where many people’s only goals and ambitions are to get as much as they can out of this life while they still can – I am afraid this is one quality that is in very short supply.

Most people are lucky if they manage to make 2 or 3 good, loyal, and faithful friends in this lifetime.

This is one quality that God the Father is really watching all of us on. He is watching who is going to stay true, loyal, and faithful to Him – and who will stay true, loyal, and faithful to the friends and family that are brought into our lives.

The flesh is strong – especially in the area of wanting to satisfy its lust for the material things of this life. This is why this quality is one of the 9 fruits of the Holy Spirit.

We all need the faithfulness of the Holy Spirit worked into us to help us keep loyal to God, family, and friends.

Gentleness- Fruit of the Spirit

Many men may draw back a bit from this next fruit, which is the quality of gentleness. However, Jesus was fully incarnated into a human flesh body – but this incarnation was done as a man – fully Man and fully God.

Since Jesus walked our earth as a man – the Son of Man – study His actions very carefully when you read the gospels and how He handled different types of people.

There were times that He would engage and set people straight, like He did with some of the Scribes and Pharisees. But there were other times that He dealt with people very gently, with kindness and love.

His gentle way of handling some of these people is what really jumps out at you when you really study how He handled different types of people.

Again, Jesus is the perfect role model for all of us to study and learn from – especially with how He handled people while He was walking down here on our earth. For men in particular, His actions and behavior towards others should be a major study for all of us and we should seek to pattern our own daily walk after Him.

And one of the divine qualities that He had operating in Him with great abundance was the quality of gentleness.

The quality of gentleness is another major quality needed in our world today. So many people have been beat up and hurt in their dealings with other people – that just a gentle word, a gentle touch from another Christian can really open up the door for that person to be able to receive Jesus and His healing, saving, and deliverance power into their lives.

Once you really start walking in the Holy Spirit with His divine fruits operating and flowing through you – you will really be able to feel and sense when you should handle a certain person or a certain type of situation with more of a touch of gentleness rather than with any kind of stern rebuke or condemnation.

There is a time for tough love – but there are also times that just a gentle and loving touch is all that is really needed to properly handle a certain situation.

The Holy Spirit will guide you in all of this. Just realize that the quality of gentleness is one of the 9 fruits of the Spirit, and this is one of the fruits that He would really like to get worked into your personality, especially in being able to use it when dealing with and helping out others.

Parents especially need this fruit operating through them, as it is very easy to get out of balance with the way you are correcting your children. Sometimes more of a tough love approach is needed, but at other times more of a gentle approach will be better suited for the situation.

If all your children ever hear from you are stern words of rebuke and criticism, and it is never properly balanced out with words and actions of love, kindness, and gentleness – then after a certain period of time your children will start to pull away from you, and they then will have no more desire to want to establish any type of good, solid, loving relationship with you.

Now here are some of the different definitions on the quality of gentleness:

  1. Mildness combined with tenderness
  2. Gracious, kindly disposition, controlled strength
  3. A disposition that is even-tempered, tranquil, balanced in spirit, unpretentious and that has passions under control
  4. A character that is equitable, reasonable, forbearing, moderate, fair and considerate
  5. Power and strength under control
  6. Willing to pardon injuries, correct faults. One who rules his spirit well

Not only will other people love and gravitate towards you more if you learn how to walk in this quality – but you will be at much more peace with yourself since you won’t always have to be fighting and striving with others when trying to help them out.

Self Control – Fruit of the Spirit Bible Verse

Last, but not certainly least, is the quality of self-control. This one is huge, and I mean huge!

Once you start to enter into a true sanctification process with the Lord – expect the Holy Spirit to move on you very early with this specific quality.

The reason for this is that we all have a certain amount of character flaws operating in our personalities. There are some bad and negative qualities that will have to go.

The Bible tells us that our spirits and our flesh will war against each other in this life. Our flesh wants immediate self-gratification at all costs and will stop at nothing to try and get it.

Our spirits know that some of our fleshly desires are not right for us and as a result, there will be a tug of war between the two – and sometimes it will be a major tug of war. And the only thing that will be able to control and curb some of the desires of our flesh is the quality of self-control.

Since we all live in a very self-centered and materialistic type world today, many people have very poor impulse control. If they see something they immediately want, they will do anything they can to try and get it. They will not be denied until they get what they are going after. These people are obviously very weak in the quality of self-control.

This is why the Bible tells us that if we can learn how to really walk in the Holy Spirit, then we will not fulfill the lusts of our flesh.

Due to our fallen and sinful natures, all of us are weak to some degree in the quality of self-control. This is why God the Father made sure to have this fruit listed as one of the 9 fruits of His Holy Spirit.

We all need God’s self-control operating in our lives and in our personalities if we are going to have any hope in getting cleaned up and properly sanctified to the degree that He would like to get us to in this life.

If you do not have God’s self-control operating through you – you will have very little victory over such things as bad tempers, judgmental and critical spirits, an unforgiving spirit, and vices such as smoking and the abuse of alcohol.

Once the Holy Spirit starts this sanctification process within you – be prepared for some major battles and tugs of wars with Him once He starts coming after some of the negative qualities operating in your personality.

But if you are willing to yield to Him and allow Him to start to work all 9 of these fruits into your personality – then you will find yourself starting to grow in ways and in areas that you never thought were possible in this life.

His supernatural power in this area will blow you away once you see how far He can really take you to become the person that God would like you to become in Him in this lifetime.

Here are some of the definitions of what the quality of self-control is all about:

  1. Temperance, rational restraint of natural impulses
  2. Sober, temperate, calm and dispassionate approach to life, having mastered personal desires and passions
  3. Calls for a self-disciplined life following Christ’s example of being in the world but not of the world
  4. Restraint or discipline exercised over one’s behavior

The above definitions perfectly describe what God is looking for once He starts to work and transmit this quality up into our personalities. This specific quality is one of the major keys in being able to get any kind of victory over some of the lusts and desires of our flesh.


All of the above definitions on each one of the 9 fruits of the Holy Spirit give you a perfect description of what each one of them are all about, and why God the Father really wants to work each one of these 9 fruits into our personalities.

As you can see when reviewing each one of them, they are all very powerful – and they not only have the ability to help change, transform, and sanctify you – but they also have the ability to touch all of those around you.

Nothing will draw nonbelievers and believers alike to the Lord than a truly sanctified saint in the Lord who is walking and operating in all 9 fruits of the Holy Spirit.

If you are willing to allow the Holy Spirit to work and transmit all 9 of these fruits up into your personality to some appreciable degree in this life – you will then become a light that will literally radiate the presence of God Himself through your soul and personality.

You have no idea how many people you will be able to save, touch, witness to, and help disciple if you have these fruits operating through you. These fruits will give you a credibility with God and with other people that no degree or title can give you in this life.

This sanctification process is the ultimate, highest aim and goal with God for our lives.

For those of you who are not afraid to let God begin this deeper sanctifying work in your life – keep these 9 fruits of the Holy Spirit directly in front of you.

And then work very closely with the Holy Spirit once He starts to manifest these fruits up into your personality.

These fruits will be coming directly from Him. They will be His love, His goodness, His joy, and His peace that will start to flow into you. But you will still have to do your part in all of this. Once these divine attributes start to be released into your personality by the Holy Spirit – your job will then be to start to walk and operate in them.

If the Holy Spirit starts to release His quality of love into your personality, but you start refusing to walk and operate in that love in your words and actions to others – then He will start to pull it back from you after a reasonable length of time.

8 Creative Ways to Support Your Child This School Year

Growing up is tough. Each year, our children’s lives bring new transitions, constant change, and an abundance of physical and mental transformations.

10 Creative Ways to Support Your Child This School Year

10 Creative Ways to Support Your Child This School Year


Our childhood, along with family dynamics, shape our adulthood. Children who grow up feeling loved, encouraged, and safe tend to be well-adjusted. On the flip side, children who experience abuse, neglect, or fear in adolescence, tend to struggle later in life.

Even in the best homes, with parents who love the Lord and strive to give their children a picturesque childhood, kids can battle depression, discouragement, and disappointment. So, how, as parents, can we continually support our children at any age and stage?

1. One Hug a Day 

A hug seems simple yet often neglected in our morning rush out the door. Weekday mornings are chaotic between packing lunches, signing permission slips, and ensuring your child has matching shoes. But, remember to grab a quick peck on the cheek, a big bear hug, or slap a high-five and let your kiddo know they are loved. This also works at night time too. Don’t be afraid to tuck that teenager in, you don’t want to skip checking for the monsters under a toddler’s bed, and be sure to always make time to say a prayer with your tween.

2. Bring Your Kid Lunch

Even if you are a super-parent who packs hand-cut-out sandwiches and homemade brownies in your kid’s lunch, everyone loves getting lunch from their favorite restaurant. Schedule a day, grab lunch, and drop it off at your child’s school. Have the option to join them at the cafeteria? Go for it!

The model is talking about booking her gig,

3. Sneak a Note

Last year, I discovered these fun joke cards on Amazon. Sure, they are a bit corny, but I have loved talking about the jokes with my kids after school. I don’t put them in their lunch boxes every day, but if it’s been a while, they are sure to remind me! A handwritten note is tried and true; a message in the lunchbox is a beautiful reminder that you are in your kid’s corner. 

Let’s explore ten ways we can support our children this school year:

4. Share an Inside Joke

Humans like connection–with real people, not just screens. Everyone likes to be a part of something, in on the joke, one of the team members. Think of something you can share with just your child. I have three girls, and I created unique hand symbols (a full handshake for my middle child) specifically for each of them. When they get out of the car, before they go on stage, or even when tucking them in bed, I throw up our gesture, our secret “ I love you.”

  • 5. Play Hooky Last year, the movie “Yes Day” came out, sparking kids everywhere to ask their parents for a day when they couldn’t say no. If you feel up for it, grab your kid and have a “yes day.” Want to participate in the fun without the big commitment? Surprise your kid, and keep them out of school for the day. I understand that this may not be ideal for everyone for various reasons, but if it’s an option for you, consider it. So many things are routine and mundane, so why not take a time-out for spontaneous fun?
  • 6. Be the Biggest Cheerleader Is your son nervous about the big game this Friday? Is your daughter anxious about her part in the school play? Get some glass chalk and decorate your car windows. You could also take it old school, grab some poster board, and hang it up in their room. Make shirts with your child’s jersey number, or write an encouraging message on the front that they can read to help calm their nerves. A little goes a long way with our children. If these ideas are too much for you, a simple “you’ve got this!” or “I’m praying for you today; can’t wait to see you shine!” goes a long way.



7. Invite Their Friends Over

Hear me out. As parents, we are crazy busy, and it’s a wild ride, especially during the school year. The last thing you want to do when the weekend comes is host a bunch of loud kids at your house. Because it doesn’t matter the age, it’s going to get rowdy when you put a bunch of friends together.

It doesn’t have to be an all-night affair, ordering countless boxes of pizza and hosting a movie. It can be offering your house to the youth to hang out with after church on Sunday, or maybe it’s a place for the group project members to get together and work. It means a lot to our children when we open our homes to their friends. They may not always show their gratitude, but I can promise you the memories made will be cherished forever.

8 Creative Ways to Support Your Child This School Year

8. Volunteer at the School

Again, this is probably geared towards the younger kids, but you’d be surprised; instead of crumpling up the request for parent chaperones or ignoring the invitation to read to your child’s class, attempt to make it happen. The elementary years are prime time for you to engage with them at school. I understand that it might mean you have to forgo something you wanted to do or perhaps you’ll have to work later that night, but to your child, this act will go a long way to make them feel supported! 

Do you have older children? Ask if there is an area they would like you to participate or volunteer. Maybe they want you to be the band mom but didn’t bring it up because they know you were having a hard time at work. Or perhaps they wanted to ask you to come along on the field trip, but they know money is tight. With teens, communication isn’t often easy; initiate the conversation with your child by asking them questions. You’ll be surprised what you find out!

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